It’s early in the morning and I haven’t slept yet… Or want to, I guess ill just stay up throughout the day once again. It’s nice to hear birds chirping every morning.

I made a promise to myself and I’m having a hard time keeping it.

I feel that we set such a high unrealistic standards for ourselves, or actually me. Why is that we can feel so ugly compared to someone yet feel superior to someone else? Why is that we work so hard to look good and what is it that makes us not work so hard to look a certain way? Like people who go outside or to the grocery store in pajamas, is that a norm? Or is it their mentality of “Oh it’s just the grocery store, everyone knows that, so I’m just going to walk outside with my PJS” and some people could totally detest that idea. We all have different ideals and tastes… Yes, but why? Is it the media or is it just society? Who said it was wrong to be naked outside? Is it so taboo to have “indecent exposure” why? But I digress.. I hate the world we live in, I hate that there is poor and rich or even middle class (middle class is rapidly decreasing). I hate that people ‘go to school, work, have kids, have a house, drive a nice car and travel’. I hate everything about that routine. Yes… It’s a routine, an american dream, as they say.

Why is “white” predominant over all other “colours” , TV shows and politicians… To be honest? I think it’s just insecurity. What’s insecurity? I don’t know really. We want to feel better than someone else, maybe it’s to be top of the food chain. Another thing… Relationships… IS it really “human” to search for companionship? Why do you love your significant other or why do want one? I feel as if my boyfriend knows more about me than any other person in the world, not even the people I live with, know me. I feel like he can understand me and I’m the most comfortable around him.. I don’t know, I guess if someone could see you BARE and all that and continue to stay with you.. I guess that’s commitment. But we’re young, and I’m scared for the future and sometimes I get threatened.. I don’t want this bond between me and him with anyone else. Is this fate? Is there such thing as fate? Who made up this idea? Who made up the world? Will we ever know the truth? Or will we only learn from books and scriptures.. historians… Who made up this ridiculous language .. English? Why is there so many languages? Do we really know anything at all?

My feed consists of such depressing sad love quotes and pictures… I wish there were more happy ones, I would reblog all of them :D

This week is going to be so stressful! I can already feel it, I didn’t even sleep yet and it’s going to be a long day plus an 8am presentation Tuesday!

How will I make it, what if I oversleep and miss my presentation! 

Oh ya I can’t forget about the exam today! LOL LOL LOL

Anyway, lovely weekend with the boyfriend, wish we spent more time and by more time I mean FOREVER

3 in the morning and I’m up doing assignments, how am I going to finish everything in time for Thursday especially since I have work tomorrow, there are definitely not enough hours in the day. People probably do more in the day but I like to pace myself and take long breaks.. I’m guessing I’ll pull an allnighter on Wednesday night. 

So this past Easter weekend was different I guess, spent some time with the BF and then headed off to Niagara with the family, to see my cousin’s newborn. It was also my first time at a real casino (not that CNE crap), didn’t spend any money but gained money anyway.. haha 

My face is so red and irritated, I always get this way because of some type of allergy, going to pop a benedryl and head to bed